Some neurodivergent people learn to adapt very closely to the people around them.
They observe. They learn. They notice how other people speak. How they look at each other. When they laugh.
And then they copy what they see.
Over time, this can create a way of behaving that seems to fit in perfectly from the outside. Unremarkable. Appropriate. Expected. Even if it may sometimes seem a little rehearsed or unnatural. But on the inside, it can feel very different. Like playing a role. Like constantly having to think: What should I do now? What is the right response? What is expected of me?
This takes energy. A lot of energy. Sometimes so much that there is almost nothing left afterwards.
Masking does not mean that someone is “not being themselves”.
It means they have learned to navigate a world that may not naturally fit the way they experience it.
Sometimes we only see someone “coping” – but not the enormous effort behind it.